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10 Reasons to Love Your Pregnant Body

Looking back on my pregnancies (2 babies, one miscarriage), I was in love and in hate with my morphing body.  There are the inevitable days of nausea, stretch marks, crying at dog food commercials, and plucking crazy beard hairs, but there were some really great perks.  Here are the Top 10 reasons to love your pregnant bod:

Gorgeous hair.  Your hair will be glossy, thick, and lustrous (sorry to sound like a Pantene commercial). Whatever hormones make this happen, should be chemically replicated and sold.  I promise it would make a grillion dollars in like five minutes.  A few months after you give birth, all of these gorgeous locks may fall out to the point that you look I did: hunted and mangy.  But enjoy that glorious mop while you have it!  I can see you now!  Crossing the street (in slow-mo) rocking that low-cut shirt while gently shaking your head as your hair cascades around you.  NICE.

No sucking in.  This is an amazing time to embrace your bump (early in your pregnancy, it may just be that family-sized bag of spicy Doritos you just threw back, but whatevs: OWN it) and never having to Spanx it in when wearing anything form-fitting.  You are no longer that good-looking, accomplished woman who doesn’t get to the gym everyday, you are now that adorable,
pregnant woman who shouldn’t go to the gym for the sake of your baby’s health (this is technically not true, pregnant women should get exercise, but I didn’t and I this was my excuse).

Eating well.  Okay, so I housed that bag of Doritos, but I needed help with the nausea!  And, if you were ever concerned about calories, now is the time to let loose a little.  It’s okay to gain weight!

No more periods.  Throw out those tampons, ladies!  You will get so used to not having a period that you will be positively indignant when you finally get one again.  It is a lovely year-long respite.

Fantastic knockers. Girrrl, no matter who you are, or where you’ve started out pre-pregnancy (I was a 32A), you will grow some new, ripe tatas.  Of course, the soreness will make them of those “look-not-touch” variety, but let’s focus on the positive.  You may catch your husband or partner often staring at you with this weird, pervy, smile but seriously, your confidence level will shoot through the roof.  Rock those low-cut V-necks!

Connection.  Everyone will be happy for you!  I got secret smiles from women looking at my belly (even from those I never knew could smile), keen interest from male waiters who were also dads, kind looks from young and old couples, I got out of two speeding tickets, and I had wonderfully helpful conversations with seasoned mothers.  People came out of the woodwork. Despite sometimes feeling physically and emotionally like a big, fat piece of caca, all of this attention helped me feel connected to so many more people than I would have were I not pregnant.  I didn’t feel alone.

Always having an excuse.  Really don’t want to be at that birthday party filled with screaming two-year olds?  Really don’t want to go to dinner with your husband’s work client when you can’t drink (enough)?  Really don’t want to have your mother-in-law over for brunch?  Milk it, girl! (double entendre intended).

Comfy clothes. You can live in your sweats, yoga pants, big fuzzy sweaters with holes, wife-beaters with mustard stains, and any of your rattiest, softest duds.  I literally had a big laundry basket of such clothing next to my bed.  That way, I could roll out from under my cozy comforter, immediately stuff myself into whatever felt the best, and I was ready to go!  I mean, who’s going to judge a large, waddling pregnant woman (to her face) tricked out in homeless chic when she can go from sweet to crazy-eyes in .25 seconds?

Dictating your sex life.  Feeling so gross you can’t even stand your S.O.’s hug?  Need to get laid a quick couple of times on some random Thursday?  Yup, dems called the hormones.  You either want him some kind of bad or you want to throw him out the window.  But I certainly wasn’t having sex to engage in a healthy relationship when I was pregnant.  I was having urgent sex when I wanted it, then none for like six months.

Having no shame.  After discussing my changing bathroom habits with friends, showing many people the unbelievable size of my pregnant nipples, my husband’s daily viewing of my enormous ass and engorged lady bits and the exposure of this whole enticing package to a midwife, doctors, nurses, and parents, my body became a part of the general landscape.  I now have no hesitation stripping down for a good wax, changing in front of anyone in the gym locker room, walking around like I own the place with my nude self at any spa, and comfortably dropping trou at a doctor’s office.

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1 Comment

  • October 3, 2014 at 4:14 am

    Sometimes it can be hard, but it’s so important to love your pregnant body. (And the ability to eat cupcakes with no remorse!)